I am doing a devotional on the Bible App and all it asked me was one questions:
What is the one word to focus on to describe what you are most waiting on?
At first the name of God rang clear in my head. I am waiting on God to direct me down my path, but as I listened to the audio file attached to the plan the true word I realized I need to focus on is TIMING. I am an impatient woman who sometimes puts on the mask of patience so others around me don’t know I am hurting as I wait for God’s answer.
There have been moments of peace. Peace from God, knowing that when it is my time I will see that gift from Him. But if I am truly honest with myself there are more moments of impatience and heartache as I wait. There are more moments were I let the world around me–and myself–see what they want to see–strength–when really it is just a lonely woman hiding behind a mask.
“Wait for the Lord. Be strong and don’t lose hope. Wait for the Lord.”
Psalm 27:14 NIRV
I want to be strong. I don’t want to lose hope. I want to wait with patience and trust. Waiting on the Lord isn’t just something you can do on your own. I’ve tried. Waiting on the Lord means calling out to Him daily to ask for that strength and for that hope.
I will admit. I am a woman of many masks, so many I probably have forgotten sometimes when I put them on. For you it might be something else–armor of your own making. Attitude. Vulgarity. Clothes. What do you use to hide behind what you truly are feeling?
Don’t be ashamed. We are human and we will never be able to always be in peace with God’s Timing, but what we can do is try. Try to continue to destroy the walls we build up, remove the masks we put on, and silence the tongues we lash out with.